


Unscheduled Off-World Ejaculation

by Dont_forget_your_towel



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Apopheosis, Burping the worm, Carter has a nice ass, Event Horizon violation, Grabbin the Goa'uld, Jack is always right, Just the Tip, Only the tip, Other, Shut up Daniel, Transplanetary masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 22:16:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16795807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dont_forget_your_towel/pseuds/Dont_forget_your_towel
Summary: Jack's hunches are usually right.





	Unscheduled Off-World Ejaculation

"Prepare the chappa'ai", Apophis declared. He looked on in approval as the gate was dialed for him to the destination he ordered. Looking around him, he sneered at his loyal Jaffa guards.

"Leave me". He turned his head slightly to the side as to look back in superior contempt of his warrior servants.

"Yes, my lord," his first prime uttered, hastily turning away from his Goa'uld master.

"Jaffa, kree!" The first prime shouted,the rest of his company leaving with him.

Apophis smiled to himself as he faced the event horizon. He slowly reached inside of his luxurious robes, drawing out his personal staff weapon...the snake that controlled the other end of his spinal cord...the squirting symbiote...

He let loose an unworldly sound as he primed the missile for launch by rapidly running his hands back and forth down the shaft.

Apophis had risen again to power, and now he was going to show his mortal enemies, the meddlesome Tauri, that he has....come back.

Meanwhile, at the SGC...

Walter sounded the base alarm. "Unscheduled off world activation!" General Hammond, Teal'C, and Jack O'Neill (that's with two l's) stood behind Walter.

"It appears that the chappa'ai has been opened from Chulak" Teal'C observed, grinding his teeth. He was tired, it was well past his Kelno'reem time.

"Why the hell is it still open?" Jack asked sassily.

"Sir, there's a malfunction with the iris!" Walter exclaimed to General Hammond, completely ignoring Jack. Teal'C's jaw twitched.

"SG teams, stand by!" Hammond ordered. A squad of fine men and women from the United States Air Force flooded the room in flac vests and P90's, locked and loaded.

The SGC looked on with baited breath as minutes passed and nothing passed through. Carter and Daniel joined them in the dialing room.

"What's going on here?" Sam asked. Jack opened his mouth to say something smart, but lost his train of thought because he was staring at her ass.

All of a sudden, a white stream emerged from the gate, hitting the metal grate and oozing down on to the concrete floor. Everyone was confused but Teal'C raised an eyebrow SKY HIGH.

"That's...disgusting", Jack said, wiping his mouth. The gate shut down. He was glad he had jello at the commissary earlier today instead of tapioca pudding.

Daniel Jackson was bewildered."What...what do think that just was? Was...was that an attempt at first contact? That's very strange, I-"

"For crying out loud Daniel, it was from Chulak! For all we know Apophis himself was jerking off in to the stargate," Jack said. The team fell eerily silent for reasons they didn't quite understand in the moment, but would...come to understand later when Dr. Janet Frasier analyzed the galactic goo as the star traveling semen of the risen again system lord. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title credit goes to bae ❤️


End file.
